More classic Mae...

Here's an oldie but a goodie from my days as editor in college...
So what if I want to change my name?

A view on maiden names, feminism and Dr. Seuss rhyming games

Published: Thursday, April 19, 2001
I'm getting married next April. Of course, ever since I got engaged in December, people have been bombarding me with questions.
Some people shyly ask, "So, who's going to be your bridesmaids?" You just know they're waiting to hear their names.
Others ask for specifics, like our story, or the date, or where we'll live or what city the wedding will be in.
But the question I hear the most is, "Are you going to keep your name?"And whenever I answer, "No," many people are shocked. Sometimes even appalled.
I guess most of this shock stems from my feminist nature. I hate people who pose for girlie magazines, I refuse to wear pink or makeup, I hate the idea of being a stay-at-home-mom, I have a heavy emphasis on having a career and God help my future husband if he decides that I'm responsible for all of the menial housework.
Three years ago, I wrote a column about how pathetic it was that the University didn't celebrate Women's History Month. I even took English V: Women in the Humanities my senior year of high school.
So when I say what, to some, is an anti-feminist answer, people are shocked.
I don't know why this is so. I've always had problems with my name. My parents thought it would be nice to give me a French first name to go with my French last name.They didn't take into account the fact that it would make me sound like a Dr. Seuss character.
(Say it with me: A-May *******. Yeah, that's right, it's NOT "Amy." Thought you were so smart, huh?)
It's been my dream to not have a rhyming name, one that sends friends spiraling into contests to see who can make up the most phrases of rhymes with my name.
One friend, who now lives in Minnesota, would frequently speak in a hick accent when doing so."Haah. Ah'm Aimée *******. How are you today? I'm in a play. Don't use butter, use Parkay. What do you say? Horses eat hay. I wear Mary Kay and sell Amway. I drive a coupé. Going my way? My kids are Jorgé, Jay and Renée. "'
You get the point.
I feel some guilt at my hostility towards my name. My parents gave it to me. It's the one thing I'll always have from them. I should honor it.
But it's so difficult when you have to tell people, "No, it's Aimée. Like the first letter of the alphabet and the fifth month of the year." And when you've spent your whole life defending yourself or politely smiling when people laugh at the rhyme factor.
Do I see this as an anti-feminist move? Not really. Many people have suggested hyphenating my name. But that's such a hassle, and if I ever have kids, it will confuse them. And, no offense to those who do so, I find hyphenated names to be a bit pretentious.
Yes, it will be a huge hassle to change it. I'm prepared for that.
But on the plus side, I'll get a new driver's license picture, which sounds like a small price to pay. And I'll get to have fun presenting myself as a new person.
True, it will take some getting used to. I'm sure I will waste many checks when I sign the wrong name. But this is my decision.
And people should respect that.
After all, the heart of feminism lies in earning respect.

Geoff in syndication...

Geoff has a blog. Sometimes, it's funny. The other day is one instance of that. So I asked him if I could post it on my blog because it's the funniest shtuff I've read in a while.

I had this discussion with Chad at work today. I thought it was entertaining enough to post here.I decided to take it upon myself to clean up the webstore office, as neither Robby nor myself had been up there in a few weeks since we've been filling in shifts in the retail stores. I had a few free moments this evening, so I wanted to straighten it up.While I was up there, I found some really sweet rare games, like Mega Man X3 for the SNES and Smurfs for the Atari 2600. Cool gaming paraphenalia aside, I was making signifcant progress in my mission. There was a cardboard box filled with packing peanuts and some Sega Saturn games that were sent from our store in Biloxi. Now, keep in mind that this box has been up there for a few weeks filled with packing peanuts, in a warm, dark room.I picked up a stack of about five or six Saturn games when a small, brown, multi-legged beast crawled from the underside of Daytona USA and made its way to the top of Panzer Dragoon, nearly touching my hand. I dropped the stack of games, posthaste, damaging a jewel cases. But nevermind the jewel cases, a small roach nearly devoured my right hand! I searched and searched for my nemesis, but to no avail. It was as if he had dissapeared. Perhaps he was absorbed into the carpet where he'll emerge in the night to seek revenge on Panazer Dragoon.This prompted me to head downstairs and share my traumatic story with Chad. This brought up some interesting questions about roaches. First, we must go over some facts regarding these evil beasts of Satan.*Roaches can live for weeks without a head*Some roaches can fly*It has been said that roaches can survive a nuclear holocaust*Roaches can eat anything, including plasticWhat creature needs to possess all of these powers? Especially a creature that does NOTHING for our ecosystem. Worms turn soil, spiders eat mosquitos that carry diseases, but roaches do nothing beneficial! I see two that would be very beneficial to humans, should we acquire these powers: flying and surviving a nuclear holocaust, both of which have obvious reasons for kicking ass.But why can these roaches survive a nuclear holocaust? What is that purpose? Moreso, HOW can they? Is the only thing that can kill them, their kryptonite if you will, a can of Raid? If this is true, then surely Raid is the greatest advancement in modern chemical technology if it can kill creatures that can survive a nuclear holocaust.Being able to eat plastic could be quite convenient. For instance, you head to the store and purchase a liter of Coke. As you drink your liter of Coke, you begin to devour the bottle in which it resides, creating the perfect $1.87 meal. But what purpose does this serve? Obviously, roaches get all the crumbs and left-out food they can manage, so, why add plastic into the mix? It just doesn't add up.But perhaps more frightening is the fact that a roach can live for weeks without a head. Now, losing your head is not something one can foresee, so having a second chance to enjoy the activities you missed out on in life during the next two weeks could be very beneficial. But what would a roach do during this two week period? Typically, when someone knows they have a short time to live, they make ammends with colleagues. They'll also tend to do outrageous things they wouldn't normally do, like bungee jump, jet ski, or sleep with a hooker. But how many roaches have you met that have done that, with or without a head.I simply cannot understand why these malicious beasts are given these magnificent powers, and I can't even fly. It hardly seems fair.

I sniffed a red candle.

We lit a candle in the kitchen last night. Shazzy is a bit of a pyro (takes after his Uncle Geoff) and loves to sniff real close to candles. We have to keep an eye on him.

Mark was washing his hands when Shazzy jumped up on the counter and sniffed the candle. Then, he was hit with the smell of burnt hair.

Shazzy freaked and ran and hid where we couldn't get him. We finally were able to gt a good look at him. It wasn't his fur that burned; he had singed his whiskers. He has one gimpy, curly one, some missing ones, and some that are fine. He wasn't hurt...just freaked out.


Bet he won't sniff candles again.

You're my boy, Blue!

You're my boy....

We have a cable modem now!!! Huzzah!! Watch your mail, as we will be dropping AOL soon.

So, Ilana and I spent a total of 23.5 hours painting a mural, plus time sketching, plus time planning, plus $100 + on supplies in the Game Room during Mardi Gras, and THOSE FRIGGING KIDS DON'T LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am not going to go out of my way for that place any more. Eph them.

They were even trying to SCRATCH at it. Ash hoooooooooooooooooooooles.

And it RULES. So eph all of them.

So sorry

I think I hurt the old computer's feelings. It kinda died like that day. Geoff has taken it home to look at it. I hope he can do something. Now I feel all guilty.