Thursday, March 17, 2005

I stop traffic!!!!

Yeah, so here are some funny instances that I keep forgetting to post.

( enter/paragraph breaks are working again. Huzzah!)

Numero Uno: I was going to Barnes and Noble, and I was stuck waiting for old ladies in a hoopty to pull out of the Applebees Curbside Pick-Up spots. I was half on Vets. There were cars stuck behind me. Their car (it was as big as a WHALE!) (But took forever to set SAILL!!) took its sweet time to back out. They had tons of room, as I was stopping traffic on Vets. They started honking the horn and motioning for me to back up. Alas, I could not. So they handled it the way any sweet little old ladies would:

THEY FLIPPED ME OFF! My mouth hung open in shock. They were like 90. It was as if Sophia Petrillo was driving and Rose Nylund was riding shotgun.

Number 2: I was on the service road on my way to the UNO Jeff Center. I was almost to Bonnabel, and this old guy started COMING INTO MY LANNE! He was coming into my LANNNNNE. So I said what any American would: "Ummmm, hello!" and honked. He turned around and shook his fist at me. HE cut ME off as I was pulling to a stop at a safe speed and distance at the red light. Never mind that there was plenty of room behind me, had he only slowed down. So, I leaned on my horn and he shook his fist again.

Normally, I like spunky old people, but dang.

And C: I was walking from the parking lot to class in the education building in the crosswalk with a bunch of other people. I was almost across when I heard a bang. I looked up. One SUV stopped before the crosswalk. And smaller, older car stopped short behind him, but with enough time. Then a truck plowed into the trunk of the smaller vehicle. The driver of the truck got out, surveyed the damage, and went, "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMN! What the FUCK?!??!!?" and proceeded to berate the car's driver. It was so Dane Cook: "Why'd you let me hit you doing 80 when you're stopped at a crosswalk?!?!?!"

1 comment:

Geoff said...

HAHAHAHAHHAH! Good, solid post.