Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Not directed at any one person, but every person

No, stop telling me that you understand or you get it. I haven't even said the whole thing.

You don't understand. I lost one house already. I cannot lose another. You have no fucking clue what it is like to be us. And if you do, then skip reading this.

I have felt low in my life. I was pretty low upon Katrina existing. But this, this is a new low. I'm saving what's going on for later. It is not over. But quit fucking trying to understand, because you won't. Don't tell me it will be okay or that it will all work out. Because it may not be okay. Not ever. I will never, I repeat NEVER get over what has happened in the past 18 months. Every time we try to get ahead, some underlying force has ripped the proverbial rug out from under us. It's never anything we do. It's always some force of nature. I'm sick of being shat upon. I have had enough.

I don't even have the strength to keep up. I'm done. There is no spark in me any more. I'm about ready to hang up my hat.

2 comments:

Anne from CA said...

Oh Mae, I'm so sorry for everything that's going on. If you need to talk I'm here for you.

Misti said...

Nothing I say will help you, but just know that I think about you often and always hope that you are ok no matter what situation you are in. You're my friend even if I've never met you, will never meet you, or whatever. May you win the next Powerball lotto and buy the whole damn state of Louisiana.