Friday, October 17, 2008

My Milton Day, in a nutshell

Today, my alarm didn't go off, I was almost late to work, I didn't get to stop for my Thursday morning coffee treat, I left my lunch home, I didn't have any off-periods, half the laptops in my classroom laptop lab are missing, the other half weren't charged, I got threatened in writing and verbally by a 13-year-old with a borderline personality and oppositional defiant disorder, and a 15-year-old spectrum kid announced to the class that he hoped I would re-enter the room naked, then tried to grab my ass, all just a month after he said I could work at Hooters, then another kid sprayed smelly-ass cologne in another kid's face, and you haven't lived until you've seen a large child licking a Kleenex in a frantic attempt to rid his mouth of stanky cologne. if the day couldn't get any better...'s 1:20 a.m. on Friday. Why am I still up on a school night? Because my totally awesome day just got even more awesome.

I was getting ready to jump in the shower, and I heard tires squealing and a loud crash. Some stupid drunk nurse bimbo drove through a stop sign and slammed into the tree in my front yard!!!!! Unfortunately, she was not hurt.

Cops just left, ambulance and fire engines left (there was a small fire in the car about 20 minutes after the crash), her carload of douchebag friends who got loud when they reunited left, and the tow truck just pulled her totaled car away. Now there's peace and quiet. And now, I'm going to bed. Sleep? I hope. But now I'm all keyed up from storming around my house cursing and yelling about how she's supposed to be saving lives, and she just endangered some.

Luckily, my tree is okay. I heart that tree. It's old and gnarly and apparently sturdy. If it hadn't been there to stop her car, she would have hit Mark's car (not that I would have minded....he needs a new one desperately) and pushed it into mine or the kitchen. This is the third car that the tree has saved us from. In the year and a half we've lived here, you wouldn't believe the number of people who have driven through that stop sign and into our yard.

We were outside, and I gave her death glares as she stumbled around my yard. A cop made us go back inside, and I didn't even say anything! My neighbor pulled out his camera and started taking pictures. That's what ticked off the cop, who yelled, "Who ARE you people?!?!?!" at the three of us, hahaha.

But I muttered "LOCK HER UP!" as I went back in. Mark was mad at me because he said the cop glared after me as through trying to decide whether to cite me for it, hahahahhahaa. I thought it was only loud enough for Mark to hear, but oopsie.

Only way it could have been a worse day would be if I had crashed my car in her yard. All I wanted to do was sleep....

Just thought you'd like to start your day with a hearty chuckle. I never did consume an adult beverage. Nothing was cold. Perhaps, in light of my faux pas with the cop, this is a very good thing. I'll just make up for lost time this weekend.

No comments: