I was essentially awake from 10 a.m. Tuesday, December 1 until J was born at 3:07 p.m. Wednesday, December 2, 2015. And I still wasn't able to sleep. We waited for me to be sewn up after the episiotomy, for the room to be cleaned, for the baby to be checked and cleaned, for an attempt at breastfeeding, and for an hour of skin-to-skin. Then the families came in to visit. And I was finally able to eat. I scarfed down the sandwich like there was no tomorrow.
I mentioned how my in-laws burst in first and monopolized everything. They took photo after photo of themselves holding J. And of Mark holding him. And not one single person took one of me or the three of us. I was so out of it that I didn't think to ask. I think they would have followed us to my room, but my parents made a big deal about letting me get some rest and giving the three of us time to be alone. I guess they actually got the hint for once.
It was about 7 p.m. and we were finally alone. But could we rest? No. Nurses kept coming and checking on the two of us. Mark went home at one point to feed the cats. He returned a little after visiting hours were over.
Our friend's ex-husband worked in the hospital. They were still married and he was working there when I had my first miscarriage. He was the friend who came to check on us a few times that night. When my dad had his heart attack a few years ago, he checked on him. And his girlfriend was the one who was due two days after me but had the baby four weeks early. He had seen on social media that J was here and came to visit, which was nice, even if we don't see each other any more.
Every time we almost dozed off, a nurse would come in for one of us. I was not having success with breastfeeding due to his tongue-tie. We got a nipple shield and a lactation consult. They decided I should try pumping and consider having a frenulectomy done on J to make things better.
It was at least 1 a.m. by the time I could finally doze off. I woke up all night long to check on J because we delivered at a baby-friendly hospital and he was rooming in. So I was basically awake and delivered a baby during the hours of 10 a.m. 12/1-1 a.m. 12/3.
They woke us a few times during the night. At 7:30 or so, L came to check on us on her way to the hospital. And right after she left, the photo people arrived. We were not prepared and I should have asked them to come back later but rolled with it. I'm wearing my hospital gown still. Mark needed to shave. Poor J is in 0-3 month pajamas because we didn't realize that was different than newborn. So they rolled his sleeves and tucked the pajamas as best they could
Not long after that, the pediatrician came in. He was one from our practice, but not the doctor we fell in love with when we interviewed pediatricians. He said if we wanted the frenulectomy, let them know. We wanted to try breastfeeding again first and would then decide. But I was bleeding from it already.
As soon as visiting hours started, my in-laws burst onto the scene. And they stayed the whole day, except for when we were under the hospital's cuddle hour. An hour for us to do whatever with no visitors and no doctors. Exceeeept he needed his 24-hour labs done during that time. So they took him. I got to shower finally. We tried pumping again. And as soon as cuddle time was over, there they were again, loaded down with gifts. Cause that's exactly what every new mother needs: a ton of shit to take home in addition to the tiny baby.
My friend Melissa showed up, as did my cousin Alicia. Mom came by after work. The small room was crowded so his parents actually left. They were staying in a hotel nearby and had to start the hour and a half drive home. They took J to get circumcised, and so she and I were able to privately visit. L stopped by to say he'd done well and was recovering. She did the surgery herself. And every doctor had compliments for her on how well it was done. Go figure. My aunt, uncle, and cousin stopped by for a while. Mark had gone to dinner with his parents during this and then he was heading home to feed the cats again. He also put the baby swing together.
J finally got to return right before my last visitors left. After Mark came back, we had one last visit from our best friends, Craig and Aryanna. They brought me a bottle of Moët which I saved for a while because Mark doesn't drink champagne. I needed someone to savor it with.
We had another restless night with one sweet night nurse sneaking us a few bottles of Similac supplement formula. Thank god. I was hurting. He couldn't latch properly. It was a miserable situation all around. As a baby-friendly hospital, they push breastfeeding on you. It's insane. I was already on board for trying it and had no plans to do otherwise. I was sold. You didn't have to be so...militant.
The next day, we had a different doctor from the pediatric group. She suggested the one we saw the day before to do the frenulectomy because he apparently enjoys doing that. J was gone for a while for that. I got to eat lunch and then we left a couple hours later. It was time to head home.
3 comments:
Our hospital was baby friendly but because F was larger than average they were all concerned about his glucose levels and it was soooo confusing, no one told us about that those first few hours so while we were trying to nurse him we weren't being totally diligent about it (because sleeeeeep) and then we kept getting other special pediatric doctors coming in telling us we had to do formula because of his glucose levels and I was like OMG I'm not going to be able to nurse and it was just chaos. It felt almost the opposite for us, like you need to do formula and don't worry about the breastfeeding.
And we would have nurses say that I should start pumping and others say not to do that. It was the most CF situation at that time. We realized later that most of them were not trained on breastfeeding at all and while some might have had some experience with it none really knew what they were talking about and I don't think the lactation consultant even came by until the very end.
Also....I hear you on the inlaws. I'll write about that later, too. But I get it.
My worst mistake that I wish I had never let happen was letting MIL hold F first. I don't know what I was thinking.
Omg. I wish I'd had the balls to lay down ground rules immediately. But I was so sleep-deprived and on pain meds... They don't respect us as parents and I haven't spoken to them in over a year as a result. Stay tuned.
Post a Comment