I love technology

But not as much as I love you.

But I still love technology.

Always and forever.

My Dell Dimension 3000 with the optical mouse and the petite flat screen moniter is one sexy beast. I am madly in love with it. I finally have Word. And I can play around with Powerpoint and make stupid slideshows with which I may entertain myself and everyone around me for hours on end. And, one of the best things ever: I now have a copy of Spider Solitaire to call my own! I don't have to rely on the Internet to play it now!!

Even better, as soon as I move my fire wire, I can install my real iPod software. No more ephPod. Eph ephpod. No, I don't mean that. It has been berra berra good to me.

But wait! There's more! Now I have installed the software for our sassy little digital camera! So now I can e-mail Caroline the picture of her and Kate kissing at midnight!

Well, once we get our cable modem.

Oh yeah, you read that right. We're moving into the 21st Century.

Anyway, the computer's name is "Darkness," but it's pronounced "Dahkness." I think I may nickname it "Charlie Murphy."

And when I went to class, they had the coolest overhead projector EVER. It has a camera on it. All you have to do is put any object: a book, a baseball cap, a wilted burrito, even, on it, and it projects it on the wall. No need for smudging your notes all across the transparencies, rendering them useless.

I love technology.

Luckyyyyyyyyyy...

Our computer arrived today!! YAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!

Geoff brought over his copy of "Garden State" last night and we watched it and ate cheesecake. It was a fabulous evening! It was such a good movie, and the cheesescake is the only decent thing my MIL can make. Happiness all around!

School is cool. Looks like a heavy workload. But that's okay. I'll survive.

Best thing about school, part 1: no textbooks!
Best thing about school, part 2: One of my professors is named Sassy.

Dude....

We're getting a Dell! My parents and Geoff rock! Our little computer, though fairly decent, is not updated enough to handle my scholastic demands, as I mentioned last time. And so I freaked out about it and called my parents, and my dad told me to make a list of everything I need. This morning, he called me and said that he and Geoff looked it over, did some research, and decided that we would be better off with a new system. It ships on Wednesday, and I cannot WAIT! There will also be a cable modem switch over soon. It'll feel so good to be in the 21st century with most of Western society...

I just tried a nasty Lean Cuisine. Don't get the penne pasta with tomato basil and sundried tomato. I saw the regular old nasty tomatoes, and I saw basil, and I saw penne, but I tasted crap. Bland crap.

Y'all sure is diffrint in the city....

Either college has drastically changed in the three years since I graduated, or Nicholls was WAAAAYYYY behind everyone else in the world. I'm leaning towards that second choice. Everything is so computer and Internet oriented. Sheesh. I need serious upgrades/a new computer (not that I'm complaining...)just to take classes. Everything is submitted via Blackboard, so far. At Nicholls, we'd just gotten it right before I graduated, and only one class used it. But here, apparently, almost every class uses it. Again, sheesh.

Oh, and I thought correctly: LOTS of nontraditionals making lots of annoyance in class.

And, funnily enough, I have one class with Sam. How random is that? Off to the next one!

Yyyyyyyyyaaaaayyyyyyy edumacation!

On tap for tonight:

Back to school...back to school....to prove to dad that I'm not a fool.....

Let me tell you 'bout my beeeeest friend...

My bestest friend in the whole wide world is 2 1/2 years old. Yes, Baby Ben, also known by Russian Phil as "Baby Stewie" for his head size, is truly my best friend. We spend two mornings a week together and have done so for 2 years. He is adorable beyond words, and though he has yet to actually say it, he loves me unconditionally. He gives me hugs and he grins at me and he takes me by the hand and sits in my lap to get read to, and he's starting to speak in sentences. Today, Sam came in and picked up Ben's guitar (he has a little acoustic one that he plays Shabbat songs on) and strummed it. Ben turned around and said, "No no no no no no, Sam." in a sing-songy voice. SO Sam tried a different tactic. He asked Ben's permission to play it. Ben answered, "No, just me." And then he was trying to get my attention today and said, "MOMMY! Um...I mean, Aimée !!" and it was really funny. He looked embarrassed.

But, today, his mom told me some bad news: in the fall, he has to start going to school five days a week. So I most DEFINITELY have to be out of the J by then. But, this makes me happy, because then he won't get attached to someone new after I'm gone. It makes the pain of leaving him that much easier, haha.

SCHOOL STARTS TOMORROW FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Devon asked if I was going to have Mark take my picture and pack me a lunch in a cool new lunch box. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Silly Devon..I have night classes. No need for a lunch box.

BUUUUT.....with the start of school comes the time to BUY SCHOOL SUPPLIES!!! I am a dork, I am a dork, I am a dork....

The cirrrrcle of liiiiiiife....

Last week, I learned about an end of a life and the beginning of a life on the same day. After celebrating Geoff's birthday with my parents, we headed home about 1 a.m. Mark's phone rang, and it was his boss, calling to say he had to come in immediately, because Buddy D, local talk legend, died earlier that evening.

Now, I've always hated him. My most vivid memories growing up involve my father, the Saints, and Buddy D. A strong college memory: Not having my own car, I would go home every other weekend via my parents. We wouldn't go back to school until after the Saints game was over. Which meant that I would then be subjected to being trapped in the Durango, forced to listen to his aftershow with no escape. But, it's sad. It's like the end of an era.

Earlier that day, I discovered that Emi had her baby!! And they're both healthy, even though he was a month early. Yayyyyyyyyyyy.......he's cute, too.

Less than one week until I start classes. At that point, I will find out what my internship entails, and I will reevaluate my job availability status, after which I will pound the pavement. Can't wait. Eff the dub.

When keepin' it real goes wrong....

So I'm going to be vague on this because I don't want this person (who won't know this is here) to know I said it, but I have to get it off my chest because I got really embarrassed and I feel bad.

So this person I know thought that he/she...I'll call this person "Pat..." had been exposed to a disease that can be kinda deadly and was feeling bad, so I looked up on the Internet the causes, etc. (Don't worry....it was a false alarm because the original sick person apparently doesn't have this deadly diease.) So I'm reading along, and one thing the site says is that other viruses in a person can cause it to happen. Including herpes. So, I say, "Uh-oh, Pat.....better quit sleeping around!" And Pat says. "I have herpes!!!" And I say, "Shut up." And Pat says, "No, seriously. I got it from my ex, Jordan. (I love gender-neutral names....) Jordan was my third, I was Jordan's 300th, practically."

Pardon me while I scream like Howard Dean.

How do you get out of something like that? As I told Kate, no more bringing circle jokes into the unsuspecting public. Sheesh. I'm mortified. And I am willing to bet Pat was, too.

In other karmic news, though, yesterday, a kid I will refer to as "Surfer chick" and I were building a popsicle house at work. She said, "Hey, I'm going to give you horns, okay?" I'm thinking in terms of bunny ears.

Oh, how wrong I was.

SHE GLUED A FLIPPIN' POPSICLE STICK TO MY HAIR!!!!!

Yes, to my hair. With so much glue, it soaked all the way through to my scalp. So I went to wash it out, but it was too far back for me to see. So I went to Jean's office, where i found Nijel, too. I said, "You know, there are days when I love my job, and days that make me want to quit. Today is one of those days." I turned around and showed them my hair. "Know any ways other than getting in a shower and actually washing my hair to get glue out of it?" They didn't, of course.

So I just had to let it dry. Then, I obsessed over picking the glue out as it dried. I looked like I needed 42 bottles of Selsun Blue. It was all flaking on my chocolate colored shirt and everything. Surfer chick and one of the Rachels helped. Ok...attempted to help. All they did was remove chunks of my hair. It hurt so bad.

Then, I get home. And I am in the kitchen, talking to Mark, when I knock over the stack of Christmas cards on the counter. He's holding Lily. As I bend over to pick up the cards, she gets wiggly, jumps onto the china cabinet, misses/bounces off, and LANDS ON MY HEAD!!!

A FLIPPIN' CAT FELL ON MY HEAD!!!

It's rainin' cats...hallelujah it's rainin' cats, meow meow!

On her way down, she clawed my right arm, and I have a puncture wound now.

Then, we were taking down our Christmas stuff, and I got behind the tree to get the rear ornaments. I leaned over to unplug the lights, and I smacked my head on the corner of the windowsill. It left a red mark. Today, it feels bruised, but you can't really see it. However, I never realized how often one touches one's forehead throughout the day. Everytime I push my hair out of my face....every time I rest my head on my hands....Torture.

So, I think I've paid my dues for the herpes joke attempt.

Incidentally, Pat is okay with it. Surfer chick was banished to the Game Room yesterday until she drew me a card with Cartman on it. It was hilarious. Cartman was saying, "I uh, I uh, screw you guys, I'm going home." Under that, it said, "If he won't say sorry, then I will. I'm sorry!" On the inside was a drawing of the back of my head with a popsicle stick stuck to it. Under that, it said, "It wasn't funny" and had an insert arrow pointing to the word, "That," which was written above wasn't and funny. It said on the next page, You're cooler than chocolate and black nail polish, and those are pretty cool. I love you, Aunt Mae." All was forgiven, It's hanging on my fridge. Lily is fine. And my head still hurts. And Mark? Mark's still laughing at that series of unfortunate events. Bum.

Dove Promises are the DEVIL!

The devil, I tell you!

I bought some to put in candy bowls for our Christmas get-together which got cancelled because we got snowed in in the M.C., and since Mark isn't into them, I'm left to do battle with them on my own. Ugh. Hello, cellulite!

SO, here's Over's feedback on the previous post:

"lol..you make me sound like such the picky asshole! :)

"see, the intrinsic problem with renaming under to over is that overusage of the name. you'll say over21 jeff, and some people will think you mean me, and some will think you mean under. and no matter how much you try to make them update their mindset, it will never truly be solved that way.

"my proposal? wait til i'm 30, and then change the names. then we can still be over and under, with ages, except then it'll be over30jeff and under30geoff. no confusion, and accurate readings.

"but you're the creative one. all i ask is that i dont have the word Fart in my title."

So e-mail me and let me know what you think.

Remind me to tell you one of the most foot-in-mouth stories ever later on...

I thought I was the coolest person in the world...

But apparently, I'm not. I thought this because I'm listening to Duran Duran's greatest hits album in my car this week, and there ain't nuthin' cooler than that. But then, Caroline was singing "Notorious" last night, and I decided to show how I'm the coolest person in the world, and apparently, that crackwhore is listening to it in her car, too. So I have to share the title. Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Left off my lists:
Songs I shouldn't love but do:
Black Eyed Peas, "Let's Get it Started/Retarded"
Gwen Stefani
OutKast, "Hey Ya."

Stuff I unabashedly love:
Duran Duran

I need to take a poll. See, I have this friend, and his name is Over-21 Jeff. He was named this at a legendary party where he was the only person of legal purchasing age, and my brother was around, and to distinguish between which Geoff/Jeff was out, we called them "Over-21 Jeff" and "Under-21 Geoff." Yes, they spell their names differently, but they're pronounced the same, so you DO need the distunguishing titles.

Well, today, Under has moved up to Over. Yes, today is Geoff's 21st birthday. So we have two Over-21 Geoffs/Jeffs. That can't work. It's been like 6 years. It'll be hard to stop thinking of him as "Under."

But we need to rename them. The obvious choice is to make them "Over-21 Geoff" and "Almost -30 Jeff." But Over doesn't like those implications. So, for this year, They could be "Over-21 Jeff and "21 Geoff," but that is lame. Then I tried "Old Fart Jeff" and Young Fart Geoff," but Over didn't like that either. So I suggested, "Old Fart Geoff" and "Older Fart Jeff." Over really hated that.

I suppose we could just stick to calling them Over and Under, with no ages listed, but I think new names every few years is funnier.

The best parts of a crappy year....

This year was frought with turmoil: hurricanes, a divided nation, Bush's reelection, work, and the tsumani terror. All in all, pretty cruddy. But, there were some good things. Here's my stream of consciousness stuff, organized as best as possible. (Yeah, I know, that makes no sense. Deal with it.)

Songs I loved but shouldn't have:

• "Toxic" by Britney Spears
• "My Band" D12
• "Drop it Like it's Haaaaawwwwt" Snoop Dogg and Pharrell
• "The Way You Move" OutKast
• "Yeah" Usher
• "Love Song" 311
• "Growing on Me" and "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" The Darkness
• "Somewhere Only We Know" Keane
• "Word Up" Korn
• "Lady" Lenny Kravitz
• "We're All to Blame" Sum41

Songs/albums I love without shame:

• "Songs About Jane" Maroon5
• "Hot Fuss" The Killers
• "Big Brat" Phantom Planet
• "Good News For People Who Love Bad News" Modest Mouse
• "To the Five Boroughs" Beastie Boys
• "No Phone" Cake
• "Fall Behind Me" The Donnas
• Franz Ferdinand
• "American Idiot" (album) Green Day
• "Walk Idiot Walk" Hives
• "Megalomaniac" Incubus
• "Get Born" Jet
• "Hysteria" and "Time is Running Out" Muse (actually, the whole "Absolution" album is cool)
• Snow Patrol
• The Strokes
• "C'mon C'mon" The Von Bondies
• Velvet Revolver
• "Maps" Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Movies, current and video, that are to die for:

• Anchorman
• Napoleon Dynamite
• Dodgeball
• Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
• Elf
• Mean Girls
• The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou
• Lemony Snickett's A Series of Unfortunate Events
• The Incredibles

Cool stuff that happened with no real category to define it:

• Got an iPod
• Voodoo Fest
• SNOW ON CHRISTMAS
• Passing the second part of the Praxis
• Becoming an actual grad student and getting to register for classes
• Mark's surprise party
• Nijel giving me training sessions for Christmas
• Seeing that door slowly start to open....
• Got a nugget cell phone
• Downloadable ring tones
• Shazzy
• The chair
• Being Alicia's matron of honor
• Tsofim Travel Adventure

Best concerts

• Better Than Ezra
• GreenDay
• Beastie Boys
• Velvet Revolver